One of the most common complaints I get from Singlettes who are on a quest to find their life partner is 'I never meet anyone.'
Often 'I never meet anyone' is actually code for 'I'm not willing to put in the effort to go out of my comfort zone to meet anyone.'
There are many excuses Singlettes come up with that inhibit their search. Being too busy, be it with work or other hobbies and pursuits is a common one. Having friends that might have all settled down or friendships groups that might have become static, as often happens when people move into their late 20's and early 30's is another. Going out, but somehow not connecting with anyone new, is also a much cited experience (see the post 'Three Second Rule' for tips on this!).
Many Singlettes are still reticent to use internet dating, speed dating or other more formalised introductions. Many ladies still carry a sense of shame in being single and therefore fear the embarrassment that friends, family or colleagues might discover their online profiles. Some people have heard horror stories or themselves have had bad internet dating experiences.
I fully agree that internet dating is not for everyone. In fact, in my experience, every Singlette must go on her own journey to discover a way to meet new men that suits her and her lifestyle. Pushing yourself to do something that really doesn't work for you is only going to make you feel unduly negative about the process. Moreover, this negativity will sabotage your chances of being open-minded and making a genuine connection.
However ladies... The Pizza boy is unlikely to be your Mr Right!
That is right, staying home and ordering in is a guaranteed way to NEVER meet anyone. So, what are you going to do to further your quest?
For those of you who aren't as keen on internet or speed dating. Try some of the less specific social meet up sites like: http://australia.meetup.com/.
They aim to bring together groups of people who, like yourself, might want to do some new things and meet some new people. You can attend an activity someone else has organised in your local area, or, try organising one yourself. If you aren't from Australia, get googling! As brilliant as Aussie's are I'm sure we didn't invent this concept!
Other strategies include asking friends to set you up or invite you out when they are seeing people you may not know. Organising a dinner party or outing where everyone has to bring someone new is also a fun way to go. Beyond that, doing a course can put you into repeated contact with new people, but beware, it can also waste a lot of time if you are stuck for 8 weeks with people whom you know are not your sort of people after the first week!
Dr Phil (bless him!) also talks about going to a 'target rich' area. Think about the sort of guy you want to meet and then make an effort to hang out in places he would likely hang out in. Now, we can deduce that your local crochet club may not be the place the man of your dreams is likely to hang, but don't write making new girlfriends out of your strategy. Remember, every new girlfriend you make is someone new for you to go out with and also will know other people new to you.
'It's too hard!!' I hear you say... Well ladies, when ever has something worth having, something as life changing and as important as finding your life partner been not worth a bit of hard work!!